I didn’t intend to take the rest of the week off, because I’m already going to be gone for two whole weeks beginning Saturday, but I’m so glad I stayed home with Alex and that I won’t be leaving him here in misery all day. Today he is sick, going on day 5, I’ve been counting since the day the doc started him on antibiotics. I thought he was better yesterday, so I sent him to school, but that was a mistake and it made him even worse. He was up in the middle of the night with a fever, throwing up. That’s hard to see, as most moms can attest to. I can never tell when he’s fully recovered because he rarely complains, even when he is really, really ill. Yes, I mean it. Alex never complains. He’s a good kid. He finally grew out of his off the wall hyperactivity, sin medication, and he is pretty much a normal 15 year old! Yesterday he said, “Mom, tu eres guapa!” And I gave him a big hug and asked where he was learning Spanish. He said there’s an app for it on his phone and he has already spent 45 min. learning new phrases. Yay! He makes me happy.
I can’t tell when he’s 100% better though, since he seems to bounce back quickly. There was this one time, while we were living in Germany and he was seven years old, that he had been coughing for a couple of days. I thought it was a typical chest cold. He had a slight fever, which I didn’t pick up on, so I didn’t know he was fighting an infection of some sort. I had him dressed and ready for football: pads, helmet and all. On the way out the door he began coughing so much that he was having difficulty breathing. I noticed how scared he was, so I knew then that I needed to call the emergency line on post. They sent a German ambulance, with their own German doctor and all! Alex was rushed to the hospital and we found out that he was suffering from pneumonia: the strain of pneumonia that causes permanent tissue damage if not treated quickly. Yes, it’s not that big of a deal to hear “pneumonia” these days, because everyone seems to have had it, right?? I mean, I haven’t, but many people have; but if you imagine how many deaths pneumonia causes in children and the elderly, it’s nothing to shake a stick at. His case of pneumonia was treatable through antibiotics, which were given to him intravenously. He stayed in the Amberg, Germany hospital for 7 days. Were the German’s just too careful or something? A week is a long time! I don’t care, either way. They took excellent care of him, fed him well, and treated him kindly. His classmates sent cards and games for him to play. He was kept busy the entire time. Plus, his big brother’s friend happened to be in the hospital, on the same floor, that same week. I have always been worried though, since he was told he may have susceptibility for pneumonia for the rest of his life! That’s such B.S.! Since then he’s had it three times!
I always feel empathy for my children when they get ill, and I always do a good job of taking care of them (at least I think I do); but when Alex is sick I worry a little more, and then I let my natural anxieties about all the devastating possibilities that could arise with a sick teenager kick in. Not that he’s statistically at a disadvantage, but all the same, every time I hear of a mother losing her son or daughter to an accident or illness, I tell myself ‘I’m no different than she! I could suffer like her, just the same.’ I think all loving mothers feel this way, but some of us ponder over it longer than others – not good. Once in awhile, like now for instance, I have to stop and think ‘why do I baby my 15 yr. old so much? I know he’s “the baby” but I believe I baby him even more than I probably should. I didn’t baby the others as much as I baby him. Then I think of all the times he’s been in and out of the hospital ER, not because it’s our favorite place to be, but because he has suffered from numerous ear infections, bronchitis, chest colds, and all sorts of respiratory problems since the day he was born. I’m starting to think he has a weak immune system! He has blood work in already, so I guess we will find out about all that technical stuff when he goes back to the doctor.
My other kids used to get on me all the time about treating Alex better than I treat them. I still disagree. It wasn’t a matter of them having any less attention from me (and definitely not a matter of them getting any less money or trips around the world), it was a matter of them being much older than him. Then, to add to that, it was always them against us: Julia and Mitch vs. Mom and Alex. This went on the whole time my husband was deployed, each time. In reality they created the divide; I just didn’t know how to bring it back together. Growing up was the best thing that my kids could have done for themselves! HA!
I also remind my now grown children that the reason Alex was praised over and loved so much when he was born was because I thought I was not going to have the Alex that exists today. When I was pregnant, my early ultrasound detected a deficiency in his growth. They also saw that he had Arachnoid cysts growing on his brain stem. I was told that I was going to have a severely retarded child. I went in for my seven month check up and met with a specialist. The doctor put my options out of the table: including terminating the pregnancy at 7 months. I was confused and devastated, because how could a brilliant doctor who spends his as an obstetrician, have it in him to think to end the life of a fully grown baby…just because it was going to be born retarded. That was a scary final 8 weeks of pregnancy! Fortunately, I believe whole heartedly in the power of the Priesthood, so I had a Priesthood blessing from my husband and my home teacher. I was fully expecting to have a severely mentally retarded baby when Alex was born, but what came out was a perfectly wide eyed baby boy! Ugh anyone who ever lay eyes on that baby used to tell me how beautiful he was! This is before he turned into a terrible toddler, of course. Then he was a handful. But as I tell Alex, often, “you were lucky to get all of the good genes out of your dad and all the good ones out of me….minus the acne.”
That’s why I’ve always been smitten by my baby boy, who is now 15 ½ years old. Yep, and any mother of a brand new baby, especially the baby of her babies, can actually agree: they will always be the baby!
